cilantro lime coconut

2012-01-10T03:49:00.000-08:00

this christmas, i don't know what got into me. i wanted to make edible things look adorable. look what i made!

snowmen and rudolph red velvet cake balls

christmas siamese twin cookie (in a sweater vest)

cheeseburger meal (that's ronald mcdonald's face above)

it got cut.

2011-12-05T21:52:00.001-08:00

Jack with urbana.org asked me to write a couple articles for the urbana site about life as a missionary and such. The most recent article i wrote will be up soon, but the editor had me check the edits he made. He cut out the only light-hearted part, making it quite a serious and heavy piece. anyway, for all you missionaries out there and all you others who know missionaries, here you go:

I cringe at the term, missionary. When I was younger, the mental picture I had of missionaries were large, wholesome families, dressed like a blast from the past, with awkward kids, and had crazy experiences with witch doctors. And they would have slightly-off haircuts.

That seemed unappealing. And here I am in Bangkok, living the life of, what you could call “a missionary.” So here I am to tell you what it’s like from the other side. You know you’re a missionary if...

You have bad haircuts done to you. That part hasn’t changed. The “world’s” hairstyling is not necessarily your style. You also don’t usually learn hairstyling terms in language learning that might be helpful to know, like “soft layers” or “Can you buzz a dollar sign into my fade?” Good thing it grows out...so you can get another bad haircut.
You have trouble speaking English. “Does an ‘s‘ belong on the end of that word?” You struggle to remember basic vocab, like ‘soap’ or ‘meatball.’ You grammar and very accent make people wonder if you from America, na?
You use phrases like, “Love on,” which may sound like a snarky euphemism for vomiting on an unsuspecting victim.
You feel guilty about not sending a mass update about your life every month that only maybe 8 people actually read. Your parents are (by far) your most enthusiastic blog commenters. They probably don’t get what you’re saying, but hey, they’re affirming.
You have amnesia about what you did two days ago. You feel constantly busy and then wonder where your time went. You blame it on jet lag even though you arrived years ago.
You converse freely about disgusting stories of illness and bowel movements. Poo becomes dinner conversation earning high marks proportional to the amount of winces you can elicit. Train experiences automatically triumph. You also don’t notice if other people are uncomfortable. “What!?! It’s natural!”
People from home frequently ask if you have eaten bugs. You think, “Pshaw! Why do they have to always ask that?” But, the answer is “Yes.” You wonder if you should tell them about the dog you’ve eaten. You don’t wonder too long; it’s just too good to see the expression on their faces.
You begin to question if things like chest colds and bad moods are spiritual warfare. You decide on a nap first.
You have cheesy pictures of you all over the refrigerators of America.
You have bizarre animal kingdom encounters, like a mammoth spider’s egg sac bursting, or snakes abducting cats, or cockroaches in your (worn) clothing. You believe you have seen the world’s ugliest dog with one strip of hair, crooked jaw, crossed-eyes and scratching so hard it’s like he’s trying to reach an itch in his previous life. You begin naming pests since it seems like they may stay, though it doesn’t make you feel better when you find PM Yingluck’s droppings around your food.
Your neighbors assume that you’re completely incompetent and have no idea how to clean, cook, or function as a human being. Your shockingly slow basic arithmetic skills in a foreign language only reinforce their fear. You also unintentionally insult them periodically, proving to them that not only are you incompetent, you’re also a boor. You, in turn, “love on” them.

Yet another reason not to have cats.

2011-11-19T22:43:00.001-08:00

Some friends rescued a kitten, named it Nong Chai and went out of town. They left it with Emily. Emily loves the cat. The cat has issues. A typical thing that comes out of Emily's mouth is, "Oh, look at Nong Chai, isn't he so cute...ooooOOOOWWWwww!" This is the Emily trying to take a cute picture with Nong Chai and him flipping out.

This is Nong Chai in action. I can't stop laughing when I watch this.

By the way, this cat is being released back into the "wild" when the family gets back from traveling.

is it actually going to flood my house?

2011-10-26T03:27:00.000-07:00

10 miles from my house, flooding is to the ceiling as of last night.

Up until today I've scoffed at the people frantically buying out all the water and packs of ramen, parking their cars on overpasses, and building small concrete barriers around their stores/houses. Now I've caved and am finally moving my fridge upstairs and am filling up bottles of water...just in case.

but will i want to?

2011-09-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

"Failure, and how companies deal with failure, is a very big part of innovation," says Judy Estrin, author of Closing the Innovation Gap.

Why does that sound so good, yet so hard to actually partake? The house church in my community is about 10 adults and over the 4 years I've been here, i've shared so much with this family: peoples' struggles and freedom from addictions, domestic abuse, illnesses, confidence in leading, growth in faith, unemployment, risking in outreach and service, and just life.

And now, J has to move back upcountry to take care of her aging, ill parents, L is getting married and moving to northern Thailand, N&P are moving back home to farm, and K&O are moving to a new community to a new house they'll own. That leaves 3 of us; It's hard not to feel like we're starting all over. When's this innovative lightbulb going to switch on?

modern interpretation of hitchcock

2011-07-24T23:56:00.000-07:00

the birds:

a modern interpretation by amelia and michelle

i love being with my niece.

last minute engrish

2011-07-13T16:44:00.000-07:00

one of the last meals before i left bangkok had one of the best engrish menus i've ever seen. it's so obvious they just plugged the thai into an automated translation program.

why go for spicy shrimp salad when you can have...

(forgive the crappy pics)

Pap concentrate Africa (a new women's health initiative)

Sauce, salad, fried shrimp, Tata. (va va voom)

Fish salad dollars Chung Flour year (whaaaaa?)

or perhaps you want spaghetti...

Spaghetti a drunken sea (a poem)

Spaghetti Bowl should evaluate mold (a suggestion)

A spaghetti fish Dolly Chung Flour year (a fish made entirely out of spaghetti noodles named Dolly Chung in the zodiac year of flour)

the final countdown

2011-07-08T03:17:00.000-07:00

friday evening here, with merely 4 days left before i leave. i've been trying to pack everything in before i fly and i cried from exhaustion today.

can i make it?

gob, from arrested development, with the final countdown. this is what i'm going to do when i get off the plane.

discuss amongst yourselves

2011-06-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

conversation overheard yesterday in a coffee shop:

"discussion question...is there anything disgusting that is not also moist?"

i was concurrently thinking about my own discussion question at that point while i was reading ezekiel:

in the imagery about god's throne throughout the bible, what's the deal with all the wheels and eyes?

to which my friend pointed out this passage in daniel 7 where it sounds like god is the oldest man in a blazing wheelchair with millions of nurse's assistants:

the ancient of days took his seat.
his clothing was as white as snow;
the hair of his head was white like wool.
his throne was flaming with fire,
and its wheels were all ablaze.
a river of fire was flowing,
coming out from before him.
thousands upon thousands attended him;
ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him.

take it easy, urvasi

2011-06-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

hanging out with an old college roommate, brought us back to the days of watching bollywood movies from the 90s...a golden era, really.

this makes me want to be a lanky, semi-aggressive, indian man with awesome moves:

"adult acne lasts longer than you think. i almost cancelled 2 days ago because I had a zit on my eye."

2011-06-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

only reinforcing my love for conan...

my favorite bits:

"Your school motto is “Vox Clamantis in Deserto,” which means “Voice Crying Out in the Wilderness.” This is easily the most pathetic school motto I have ever heard. Apparently, it narrowly beat out “Silently Weeping in Thick Shrub” and “Wimpering in Moist Leaves without Pants.” "

"It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can be a catalyst for profound re-invention."

and if you want the full transcript: here you go.

joker face

2011-06-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

i have problems.

apparently, i still can't eat without getting food all over my face. i was wearing this chocolate joker-mouth for 2 hours before it was pointed out to me.

i kind of like how it makes me look like i have a permanent smirk.

i won't be doing this again

2011-06-06T05:44:00.001-07:00

bangkok seriously has everything - including this: a zip-line version of watersports (skiing, wakeboarding, and kneeboarding) for 300B/day (like $10USD) at a place called "club taco." that is seriously the name.

however, much to lexie's chagrin, there is no waterboarding.

this is my best shot, fortunately catching my half-second of "glory." i immediately screwed up and face-planted and was yanked through the water . i guess you could call it waterboarding, after all.

eulogizing jyk to the world wide web

2011-05-09T18:17:00.000-07:00

mother's day eve, my maternal grandmother passed away after years of dependent living with diabetes-related conditions. i was informed via email, whose delivery is far from tantamount to the message's gravity in between Gap sale notifications and alumni weekend updates. there will be no funeral according to her desires, i will not return home, and all her belongings will be left in her apartment which will be reclaimed in exactly two weeks.

i am in bangkok with a community that i love like family but far from my own. i attend funerals of many grandmothers, but am unable to do the same for my own grandmother. so here i am, eulogizing my closest grandparent, a remarkable woman for which the word "unsung" would be understated, to the space known as the world wide web.

my grandma was a woman of few words and even fewer with me because of the language barrier. my memory of her actions speak of her deep strength, self-sacrifice, determination, and gentle heart. her greeting was always hot scallion pancakes at whatever time of day or night. her adventurousness and trust in humanity taught us how to hitchhike to school when we missed the bus ("just stick your thumb out"). she graciously let me sleep in her bed even when i kicked like a colt. she was always up for play, taking us to lay coins on the railroad tracks and fishing in the river with earthworms we dug in the backyard hung on safety pins. as a child, i thought that my grandma was someone specially there for me.

as i grew older and especially while i lived in the same city, i came to know her as a fuller person: spontaneously jumping onto buses to las vegas and gambling down to a dollar, fiercely independent in moving to LA alone without knowing anyone or the language, sacrificially giving to her children and grandchildren while herself taking an extra 30min trip to save 20cents on chicken, rapidly calculating mental math despite never being allowed to study past primary school, housing a refugee in her own poverty and borrowing money from friends and neighbors to help, habitual hitchhiker, shrimp dumpling fanatic, unbelievable skin, deep feeler and thinker, reserved communicator, fearless.

a couple years ago, when dementia began to take over, when she began to lose function and strength, when she began to lose her personality, she wept and cried aloud in deep anguish that God had forsaken her. i, in thailand, knew to do nothing except pray, "God, please show grandma and mom that you are with her and taking care of her." and God did. out of the hospital where my mom accidentally noticed a stroke in progress, she received overwhelming kindnesses from strangers - the use of a wheelchair to the distant bus stop and an elderly couple coincidentally reaching the bus stop and offering them a ride home 2 hours out of their way. it was God's delight in indulging in yet another hitchhiking grace.

on mother's day today, i miss her. i am so proud to be of her heritage. few people will ever know of her strength, heart, boldness, and admirableness and even i only know her through my own lens of being a grandchild. but of all the things she was, i rejoice most in her belovedness - that she was seen and truly loved by the God of the universe.

our God is good.

JYK in 2008

JYK changing my diaper in 1982

paying to worship

2011-05-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

hillsong's putting on a concert in bangkok. and i have a beef.

why is the cheapest ticket 500B and the most expensive 2000B?

(avg day laborer salary ~200B)

i totally was like, "WHAAAAA?? how can a worship concert be so ludicrously expensive?" and then i bought a ticket because i want to go.

me=sucker.

or is it me=hypocrite?

easter feaster

2011-04-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

good friday.

carrying the cross through our community (above) and footwashing (below). i love when babies do menial tasks to serve me. kidding. but really, how cute is Earn?

holy saturday.

engagement photo shoot for lexie and rod. dusk shoot postponed due to rain. boo.

easter sunday.

Bom, on easter sunday (left) and at christmas (right), when he was prayed for by the church and healed. he accepted jesus at christmas.

easter dinner with friends iven & kashmira. k specially bough ramekins to make chocolate lava cake in her toaster oven. yeah, i'm blessed.

thai kitchen series #2

2011-04-25T01:39:00.000-07:00

thai kitchen series

2011-04-22T02:15:00.000-07:00

asking immigrant parents

2011-04-19T02:14:00.000-07:00

my mom wrote me telling me that she and my dad are getting into zumba at the local senior center. and since i'd never heard of it, asked her what it was. she said,

"zumba is this new dance that's weeping the country."

maybe it's because it looks like nickelodeon workout from the 90s that the country's weeping.

expose: sisaket!

2011-03-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

last week, a team of churchmembers and friends trekked 9 hours up to a rural village on the thai-cambodian border (province: sisaket) to serve the local school and community. but what about the seedy underbelly?

ok, it's not seedy or scandalous, but these are the photos that won't make it on any update or website (other than my wonky blog). so here it is...an inside look at sisaket.

have you ever seen an old lady climb a tree? well, if you're chain-betelnut chewer, you'll have no problem scurrying up a tree.

our last night, we were invited to hunt for crickets to snack on. any food you have to use a headlamp for is definitely worth eating. also, if you needed another reason to be impressed by old ladies, the grandmas in sisaket are quick little buggers.

our cricket crop. we deep-fried them for breakfast the next morning.

thong's shoe fetish. one of the students at the school we got to know has down-syndrome and a thing for stealing her teachers' shoes. we stumbled upon her catwalking in front of the library.

in another side note, while i was upcountry, my dad sent an email that said, "how are you? your news are scampi recent days." i tried to think of a joke, but have no idea how to make scampi into a snarky comment. it's just so cute to have immigrant parents (and make fun of them).

wait while sour, eat when sweet

2011-03-14T01:15:00.000-07:00

one of my favorite things we're doing right now is to spend time with our youth playing games, learning about god, demonstrating feats of strength, and eating way too many things made with palm oil at our weekly youth group.

a few weeks ago, jin taught on premarital sex and asked the kids about a thai idiom to introduce the lesson:

"who's heard of the saying: wait while sour, eat when sweet."

to which jae (age 4), replied: "i do! i eat it when it's sour. i eat it when it's sour all the time."

yeah, i'm sure he had no idea what we were talking about.

jae, so debonair.

we've found the black swan!

2011-03-11T02:53:00.000-08:00

warning: this post is not pc. if you are sensitive to gender issues, you may not want to read this.

after watching the black swan, which was both amazing and extremely disturbing, emily and i chatted over burgers, when all of a sudden,

emily gasped!

she turned back towards me and exclaimed, "the thai black swan!"

and this is who she was referring to:

yeah, it's a dude in a black dress with feathery/furry sleeves.

and just in case you think emily's an insensitive bigot, she says, as she's laughing (i can't stop laughing either), "i hope he doesn't think we're laughing because he's a gatoey (in thailand, we call lady-boys "gatoey")."

me: would you rather him know that we're laughing because he looks like the black swan?

em: well, when you put it that way...

emily, trying to look distracted on her phone:

i hate the future

2011-03-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

before, the future seemed cool, especially with flying cars and robot slaves. i wasn't looking forward to having meals condensed into pills, but i'd get over it. the consolation of getting regular robot massages sounded was enough.

but lately, i've been dreading the future a little (i.e. a lot). i feel content with trapping squirrels on my homestead and using the vacuum-tube computer to blog on via punch card. but as in life, it's impossible not to plan ahead for whatever's coming up and i fear what my future could look like. it's more thinking about that dark, ominous future that i would hate to have - the one where i'd end up lost somewhere in west virginia in my flying car. what if where i am in 5 years somewhere where i don't want to be?

i was reading the story of jesus raising lazarus from the dead and was struck by what jesus said in response to the disciples' concerns of the jews plotting jesus' death:

“are there not twelve hours of daylight? anyone who walks in the daytime will not stumble, for they see by this world’s light. it is when a person walks at night that they stumble, for they have no light.”

can i choose to let go of my fears and walking into the future with faith?

i think my flying car will be a lot safer to drive during the daytime anyway.

the horrible future of my nightmares. soylent green is people!

just one more month

2011-02-23T05:03:00.000-08:00

in the last couple years, we've developed a relationship with a rural village in the northeastern region of thailand. last year, we came to rebuild a house for a poor, aging family. this year, we're going back to organize an english camp at the local school. how can you not love these people?

hello, mr. principal. sweet, warm man.

got a logo...

2011-02-15T23:29:00.000-08:00

now onto staff, recruiting interns, budgeting, curriculum planning, translating, housing, networking, fundraising...

logo?

2011-02-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

i need to make a logo for our new multi-national internship launching in september, based in bangkok.

oh man, how do i do it? any advice?

these are a few logos i found that i may want to use for inspiration (i still have to come up with a name, too. so far, it's just "bangkok internship."):

the plug: become a true friend, share life, listen to god, develop leaders, strengthen the meek, give of yourself, pray for change, serve all. join our multi-national internship training the next generation of leaders to serve and develop urban poor communities.

fugu shirako

2011-01-30T21:24:00.001-08:00

oh, this is fugu shirako on tofu, you say?

white and creamy, sea-product for sure, but other-wise, no clue what it was.

low and behold, i found out 2 days later...blowfish semen.

it was delicious.

is soul like gel?

2011-01-22T02:09:00.000-08:00

um, could you keep your soul to yourself?

also, is this a terrorist academy of beauticians? "park & bomb?"

some mornings, i want a trougha

2011-01-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

apparently, sbux is making a new drink size: the treinta, 916ml of bev. (your stomach's average size is only 900ml.)

and is it wrong if i think this is hilarious?

steel door?

2011-01-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

“…suffering, of every kind, is always a matter of what we’ve lost. when we’re young, we think that suffering is something that is done to us. when we get older – when the steel door slams shut, in one way or another – we know that real suffering is measured by what’s taken away from us.”

- gregory david roberts, shantaram

as i was reading the other night, this quote pithily put words to untethered thoughts and tensions i've had this season. when i first came to thailand, the sense of excitement and eagerness for new ventures and potential overshadowed any sense of loss of leaving life in the US. three years later, i feel for the first time (perhaps the first time in my life), a sense of loss. as my brother left for home, ending a relationship, and anticipating the loss of a roommate, it's hard not to feel like i'm staying and being left.

hobbies

2011-01-12T22:18:00.000-08:00

when people travel, some people collect spoons or stamps. when our family travels, we collect calories.

my bro, phil and his wife, mandy are in town and i've been seriously impressed with the sheer amount of food they can put away. no other visitor can put a candle to these kobayashis.

this is the menu du jour for yesterday (yes, just one day):

steamed pork/bean/cream buns

watermelon, pineapple, guava (2 rounds)

more steamed buns

fried bananas

red curry with beef and pumpkin

creamy tom yum with river prawns

grilled sticky rice wrapped in banana leaves

stir-fried basil with duck

morning glory with chiles and oyster sauce

banana roti

mangosteen and starfruit

boat pork noodle soup

mango and sticky rice

waterfall pork

lemongrass salad

3 flavors red snapper

papaya salad

shibuya sticky toffee toast and chocolate banana toast with ice cream

mixed berry panna cotta

drinks:

iced coffee

thai iced tea

roselle tea

lam yai juice

mixed fruit smoothies

coffee/tea

kids' pocket change

2011-01-10T21:38:00.000-08:00

my home church's (grace bible church in ann arbor, mi) kids' awana club started collecting money for school supplies in my community.

they raised $130 and this is how far it stretched for gifts for children's day (sat, jan 8):

250 rulers

250 notebooks

250 sets of coloring pencils

250 handkerchiefs

thanks guys!

oh, and here's some footage of an unjust tug-o-war. look at the size of these girls compared to the boys!

wait for it...

2010-12-21T02:13:00.000-08:00

merry christmas!

it's the holiday you've been waiting for...celebrating waiting!

this year, as i was reflecting over the beginning of advent, i was struck how much celebration there was for jesus' birth. even though his ministry (and any subsequent fruit) wouldn't come for another 30 years, even though you wouldn't be able to tell anything special about him by the way he looked as an infant, even though he was born into a chaotic situation.

and as i was challenged to think of the fruits and progresses to celebrate in our ministry here, i had trouble. while there are things to celebrate, the path ahead and the growth necessary seem daunting. thank god that youth are studying the bible and growing...but they're still so confused about their identities and dating whoever will love them. thank god that A is working a job she's held for 4 months and has been following jesus for a year...but what will happen when her bf gets out of prison?

can i fully celebrate the "not yet" of our situation?

and so that's what i'll be rejoicing over this christmas - the waiting, the "not yet." if the heavenly host, magi, and shepherds alike can have a giant, worship party for the infant incarnate god, can't i praise god for the small beginnings of growth and the evidence that god is with us?

this year's christmas newsletter comes with your own DIY slum house (it's christmas ornament). watch for yours in the mail! pray with us for peace in this place!

deep friars

2010-12-07T22:59:00.000-08:00

i'm starting a facebook club called "deep friars."

it's for incarnational ministers among the poor OR lovers of deep-fried food. (just trying to be as inclusive as possible)

a deep friar, of the french order.

the director of servant partners contributed to the new book, "living mission - the vision and voices of new friars" compiled by a handful of authors who write out of their own experiences as workers among the poor. there's been discussion about the term "new friars" about whether or not it's the most appropriate term for today's movement, so i propose "deep friars" as an alternative. i mean there's gotta be something wrong with you if you don't love empowering the poor and pommes frites.

but seriously, i appreciate the use of the term "friar" because it expresses a commitment to a way of life and the legacy of those who blended action and contemplative streams. recently, as god's been doing so much in our ministry and around thailand, the consistent pull i feel from god is to push deeper into prayer, focus on the cross, and personally submit to god rather than get caught up with work or overly focused on acting.

sunrise from the top of phu langka mtn, phayao, thailand.

last week, i had a chance to go up north for a wedding and got to spend a few days camping at phu langka. if there's anything that can help me understand god's greatness and my miniscule-ness, it's laying under a huge sky of bright stars. can you believe that the god who made that knows me? and not even just knows, but actually loves me? loves you?

loy kratong with minolta

2010-12-03T00:59:00.000-08:00

november 21 marked thailand's loy kratong, the holiday of asking forgiveness from the river for the past year's pollution. it's a beautiful aesthetic, banana trunk rafts floating, paper lanterns ascending into the atmosphere.

for us, we celebrated nim's birthday, who made her own jesus raft, praying to thank god for the forgiveness he's already given us.

i received a vintage minolta srt101 for my birthday and have been addicted to using it. i miss film. (that's why it took me so long to get these pics up...remember having to wait for developing?)

the indomitable muy

2010-11-18T19:29:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite people in thailand is grandma muy.

i like her mouth.

mouth red from chain betelnut chewing

mouth open to laugh

mouth drawn wide when she's fixed in dance

mouth muttering mantras to her houseplants

go blue

2010-11-07T03:20:00.000-08:00

67-65. triple overtime against illinois.

also, illinois, could you not come up with a better mascot than the "fighting illini?"

http://www.mgoblue.com/allaccess/?media=208089

they call her japanese ghost

2010-10-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

meet dtan. another neighbor started calling her "japanese ghost."

she looks like she walked out of a japanese horror movie. a horrific, adorable, japanese ghost.

she took one of our cameras and took 128 pictures of herself. 128!!! how do you think of this many poses? i like the one on the bottom left the most.

(can you tell many of them were taken in the bathroom? it's her favorite studio.)

not safe for american children

2010-10-22T01:54:00.000-07:00

we had our annual youth camp in chiang rai this past week, which means i felt old again this past week.

lots of fun had by all: 12-hour bus ride north, met up with other youth from chiang rai, swam in a waterfall, the youth tried their hand at sharing their faith, and we played one milllllion games.

and i have to say: i have a dream. i dream that we could play this game in america.

this traditional thai game has been played by generations. as soon as they started tying those eggplants around kids' waists, i was like, "for real?" what does this look like to you?

i know you're all thinking of how you can play this with your friends and so you're probably wondering, "how do you play?"

easy! tie a long eggplant around your waist and with that eggplant dangling between your legs, whack a ping pong ball across a field.

the other thai adults didn't think it looked gross. when i asked them if they thought this game was gross, they looked at me like i was the sick one. again: "for real?" i can't see it ever catching on in america - except maybe in frat houses or in some weird, kinky way.

by the way, i sucked at this game. i think the eggplant got tied too high and i had to really squat to reach the ball. here's staff playing. i'm the loser on the right in the gray shirt.

ps - i ate a dog. gamier than i expected.

getting over the hump.

2010-10-15T01:40:00.000-07:00

when i leave the blog alone, it feels like a huge backlog builds up and stands as a menacing hill to get started again.

so, no filling you in. i'm ignoring that ugly hump. this is what's on my mind today:

i pray and i expect that God is involved. he at least listens to whatever drivel i have to tell him whether or not he answers the way i wish.

but even when i expect that he hears and will respond in some way, why am i so astounded when God shows that he's even more involved than I could even imagine?

waiting for the bf to get here...

2010-09-20T03:45:00.000-07:00

it's in the hands of the aircraft and personnel automated clearance system.

poo, bureaucracy.

a new and exciting career in...medical tourism blogging?

2010-09-10T04:48:00.001-07:00

i was looking up some tourist information since the happy grunt (and family) are coming to bangkok in a couple weeks and i ran across this:

a blogging contest for medical tourism in thailand!

it's a super long shot for me and my meager blog (it's my even less-read blog "whatcha got, bangkok?"), but i figured, why not give it a shot. maybe i could get some plastic surgery for free out of this?

my way or the thai-way: ep.3.

2010-09-06T18:45:00.000-07:00

i was googling a bakery a friend took me to called "pang wuy...huy!" on the way to the dmv. and look what i turned up.

inventor spot

bread shaped like dead bodies. dude, this is so thai.

two reasons:

1. food made into the shapes of other things.

2. gruesome, terrifying things are fun.

now to explain:

1. i'm just going to take a quick inventory of odd-shaped things i've eaten: shrimp formed into a donut, dragonfruit cut into hearts, sweet-cream buns shaped like rabbits, fish balls shaped like mickey mouses. i think the point is to...i'm not sure there is a point. i guess the thinking is: why would you want your food to look anything like what it actually is?

2. thai people LOVE to be scared and watch horror movies. i've been scared of horror movie ads ever since i can remember. i'd walk away from chucky posters. i'd bend to my sister's every whim when she threatened to call freddy krueger. the mere mention of a ghost made me turn on every light in the house.

but thai people, the love horror anything. kids get FREAKED out by them, but they love the thrill. every place has a ghost story that gets told and re-told and re-re-told. one of the kid's activities the teenagers planned was like that halloween game where you put your hand in a bowl of spaghetti or a bowl of peeled grapes and have to guess what it is while you're blindfolded. ours had a bunch of funny-feeling stuff floating in water that was called "what's in the jar?!?!" the teens made the buildup SO scary that only one kid (who was 14) was brave enough to actually put his hand in the jar. some kids were convinced that we put a ghost in the jar. yeah, that's the kind of kids' activities we put on. we keep ghosts in jars and make kids stick their hands in to feel them. hey, we're just showing the love of jesus.

no, but really, i want to find this bakery. how cool would it be to bring a dismembered head to the next kids' activity and start chomping on the skull?

muahahahahaha

snake omen

2010-09-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

before washing the dishes monday,

after missing my skype appt with the happy grunt,

after may moved in with us,

after may's dad's cremation,

after 3 days of funeral,

after lote died from alcoholic shock,

i saw something black flicker under the sink.

it was a snake. i kind of freaked out. i was not getting near that thing. what if it got scared and pulled a "rabbit of caerbannog" from monty python and jumped and latched on to my jugular?

i turned the other way and walked out to my neighbors sitting in front of the union store. ma jaew saw me and started talking to me about moto issues and maintenance (ps - i have a motorcycle!) and i calmly answered all the questions about oil change and changing the title, blah blah blah.

thank god, the conversation came to a break - "uh, what do you do if there's a snake in your house?"

and immediately, the whole group was in our house, assessing the situation, finding objects to help trap the thing. i found a safe place far away on the stairs, cause you know what they say about "too many cooks..."

the hero of the night was gaye, the rotund, plate-sized-rose-quartz-glasses-wearing lady-night-guard. she scraped it into a box and then took it out to the dumpster. apparently, this snake is poisonous, a cobra-relative, and had TWO HEADS!!! that "tail" is actually another head.

according to thai belief, despite the fact that a snake is freaky(!!), a snake is a good omen. let's hope so.

though, the other superstition i've heard is that if you dream about a snake, it means you'll meet your significant other soon. hurry up and get here, t!

god on facebook. god at the dmv.

2010-09-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

god poked you. poke god back? throw a sheep at god?

L was a chinese teacher (from china) living in bkk. she broke up with her bf while here, was heartbroken and lonely. she met D who was her next door neighbor. he asked her to become his gf though he had already more than he could count (and the pics to prove it). she became (one of) his gf. she liked him. but she got hurt. and more hurt. she felt more lonely. she kept tabs on him via facebook.

L saw a picture D's niece on FB and because she was so cute, became friends with D's brother-in-law, G, in the us. G became a good frend; he encouraged her, cheered her up, told her about jesus.

G called me a month ago. could I become friends with L? we're both chinese. we're both in bkk. could i share the gospel with her?

I became friends with L on FB. nothing happened. i didn't message her. she didn't message me. life went on.

on a tuesday, I went to apply for a driver's license at the dmv. I picked the furthest office away (1hr+) hoping to avoid long lines and strict test proctors. they stick all the foreigners in a separate room to watch the training video so I was with these two chinese girls. we chatted for two hours, them asking me about jobs, black people in america, etc. i failed the test because i wasn't paying attention. but, one of the girls sounded familiar. after i finished failing, i asked her name. L.

wait. no. it couldn't be the same. i asked if she knew G. she did. really? we were the ones taht were supposed to meet each other? she was stunned, she said that G was always saying that he was praying for her, but she never believed anything would happen. wow, god can really answer prayers?

we met up a couple times and it was so obvious that god is doing something in her life. when we prayed with her, she felt an immediate lightness. she wants to know that god's love is real. she was so excited about the chinese bible we got her.

L went back to china this week, just 2 wks after we met. god has weird timing. who knows what will happen. but, i'm sure god is on facebook, at the dmv, and in china.

it's for your own good

2010-08-24T23:06:00.000-07:00

one thing i love about my dad is that every phone conversation i have with him, he'll share what he's recently learned in the bible. this past week, he was sharing with me his new insights into the purpose of the Law. he had always found the purpose of the Law confusing - was it for our benefit or to condemn us? he felt like he was seeing more of the ways that the Law was for our benefit and wanted to give me an illustration:

dad: it's like how in our house we had rules and they were for the benefit of you kids.

me: dad, i can't remember having any rules growing up. we didn't even have a curfew.

dad: we had rules. you just don't remember.

me: like what? name one.

dad: uh...don't eat on the carpet.

me: how was that for our benefit?

while he was right in that was indeed a rule in our house, it in no way demonstrated his point.

and that was my new insight into the Law - while god's law is meant for our life, my dad's law was meant for the life of the carpet.

what to expect when you're expecting

2010-08-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

i've heard that when you reach certain stages of your life, people feel that it is free reign to give unsolicited advice. like, you have a baby - perfect strangers will now give you advice on how to parent your child. whether you want it or not, it's given.

i think dating is one of those stages where people love to give you advice. i've gotten to the point where i'm able to take some and leave others. for instance, i will not be taking the advice of a drunk guy to buy a dirndl to wear for my bf.

me: "where would i wear it?"

reiner: "you could wear it to a springfest."

me: "thailand doesn't really have those."

reiner: "oh come on! they gotta have fessssttssss!"

me: "they're kinda different. they're like fests where they circle a temple."

reiner: "whatever. you gotta get a dirndl."

me: "i'm not getting a dirndl."

reiner: "you gotta get a dirndl."

i'll spare you the rather lengthy, repetitive rest of the conversation and let you know that it ended with me not getting a dirndl.

but, i get it. i get why people want to give advice. for those stages of life where you're trying to figure things out, make major decisions, encountering things you haven't before, you learn from your experiences and want to share those pearls of wisdom you've acquired and spare others the grisly drama.

i was talking to a friend who's been married for over 20 years and she was sharing with me what she's learned from her marriage: don't let expectancy become expectations. know that everything you receive from your significant other is a gift. it's when you start expecting things of your bf that you start on disappointment, on entitlement, on bitterness.

i think she's totally right.

i'm actually way happier in dating t when i don't expect him to be a certain way or do a certain thing. i can take it as a gift rather than depreciate the gift into a duty. i hope i can extend more freedom and love than i extend conditions or assumptions.

and i think it's not just applicable to dating. i've realized that in my life here in bangkok, in all my friendships and relationships, the same attitude affects just as much. when i view my calling as a gift, i can appreciate the beauty and the fit. when i view my calling as a duty, i feel drained and i wait for when it will be "my turn." in one view, i'm receiving something especially for me to enjoy, in another, i'm empty-handed and holding out until my wishlist gets checked off.

maybe every day can be like christmas.

the meaning of sacrifice.

2010-08-16T00:31:00.000-07:00

i just want to set the record straight. people ask me all the time how i can sacrifice so much to be a missionary in thailand.

well, it's probably because i'm a better person than you.

i just give and give and give and never receive anything. my whole life here is one giant sacrifice where i don't experience anything enjoyable save for the grace of god. i just chalk it all up to the tons of heaven-bucks i'll cash in when i die.

i mean, take for instance the place i had to go to last week.

it was so hard to be in an environment like this. i was really suffering. but it's ok. i just spent my time enduring by meditating on how many heaven-bucks this will earn me. a real sacrifice.

and look what i had to eat! missionaries are always having to eat really disgusting things like ice cream. can you believe it came out of a cow?!?! nasty! two of the teenagers split a 9-scoop "earthquake" while i had to choke down my own sundae. again, i endured by reflecting on jesus' glory.

but, i think the biggest sacrifice is all the persecution i have to bear. especially with children. this was virtually a riot i had to live through. kids running around, playing - and the whole time laughing! i mean, look at those diabolical smiles! they're always yelling, "p' michelle! look at me!" or "p' michelle, let's play a game!" or even "p' michelle! can i help you clean?" i think i now understand what paul was talking about when he was talking about the "thorn in his flesh."

i'm so glad god has called me to a place that is so hard to live in and to people that are so hard to love because i know that only the righteous can do this type of work and actually find joy in it. may god help me persevere!

"i err, therefore i am."

2010-08-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

i just read an article reviewing kathryn schulz's new book "being wrong: adventures in the margin of error."

dr. fred borst, the reviewer, writes:

“Twelve hundred years before Rene’ Descartes penned his famous ‘I think, therefore I am,’ the philosopher and theologian (and eventual saint) Augustine wrote ‘fallor ergo sum.’”This pun-addicted reviewer only wishes that Schulz had deliberately mis-attributed Augustine’s quotation to a fictional contemporary named Deshorses. Then she could be accused of the error of putting Descartes before Deshorses in that sentence.

clever.

schulz argues that error and mistake are what makes us interesting, what inspires imagination, problem-solving, makes for good story, makes us human. it makes sense: at what point does transformation and growth happen?

to this, i eagerly say, "of course!" but when it comes down to it, who likes being wrong or failing? honestly, i feel hounded by the fear of messing up. i have this fear in the back of my mind that says, "you take one misstep and you'll screw it up irrevocably!" and my frontal lobe retorts, "nonsense! failure isn't the end of the world."

it's not like augustine's the first one to think of error in this light. paul wrote, "therefore i will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that christ's power may rest on me. that is why, for christ's sake, i delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. for when i am weak, then i am strong."

at least paul's fighting for team-frontal-lobe.

in this season, i feel challenged to fail. to show that i'm not perfect. to make mistakes. to be late. to not know what to do next. to need sleep. to need to take antibiotics. to let myself get annoyed and have emotions. to take breaks. to disappoint. to need love. perhaps god's greatest gift to me right now the acceptance of my own weakness/smallness/humanity and to even *gasp* delight in it? the more messy i am, the more "me" i am and the more god shows that he's god.

maybe i can be happy about that.

the last week in pictures

2010-07-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

nothing like drinking an ice cold soda from a bag.

da's wedding. how sad that it poured on her wedding day. blast you, rainy season!

the trash ghost from our skit on global warming. conserve! save! recycle! walking through the store, i saw this.

is this weird? since i never look at cat food in the states, do they also have hairball management friskies?

nut!

2010-07-25T13:41:00.000-07:00

one of my thai friends, kaew, plays badminton every tuesday with some farangs and she asked me, "whenever this one guy loses a point, why does he always says, 'nut!'?"

me: "oh yeah, 'nuts!' americans say that sometimes when they mess up: 'nuts!' or 'aw, nuts!'"

kaew: "what does a nut have to do with anything?"

me: "oh. i don't know."

kaew: "nutsch."

presenting...

2010-07-22T18:02:00.000-07:00

dr. phil kao!

boo ya! cause i got me a smart bruva!

congrats on your successful Ph.D-fense (woot woot!) on "mechanical behavior of arteries blah blah decoupled anisotropy blah blah blah pulmonary hypertension."

(i kid you not; actual title.)

this is phil's too-cool-for-school indie PhD album cover.

my way or the thai-way: ep.2.

2010-07-21T22:45:00.000-07:00

i always thought americans were into hair removal. aside from the traditional shaving and waxing, there are always all these hair removal fads. ever tried the "epilady?" it's a hand-held machine of terror that uses twisting wires to rip off hairs in mass destruction. or the "hair-off mitten?" i had a friend who bought this brilliantly named device off an infomercial to find that it was just a sandpaper sleeve you slip over your hand to sand off hairs. boy, were we disappointed. boy, were we even more disappointed after we sanded off our hairs and then applied lotion (as recommended) to find ourselves experiencing the feeling of burning acid being poured down our legs. gotta love the american free market.

thais also love hair removal, though they have less (both hair and devices). thailand loves plucking. men don't shave, they pluck all their mustache and beard hairs (which i think some cultures consider methods of torture, do they not?). and this thai-way, i love and concede to wholeheartedly: people plucking each others' armpit hairs.

when i first heard that thais did it, i was like, "whuck? shut up."

first, plucking armpit hairs sounds like it takes forever. second, plucking someone else's armpit hairs sounds weird. and third, someone plucking your armpit hairs sounds even more uncomfortable, their face all up in your ticklish, odor-HQ. but thai people are always struck that americans think it's strange. "what's weird about plucking armpit hair? what's weird about plucking someone else's armpits? it's easier if someone else does it for you." (unspoken but implied message: "you farangs are all mixed up.")

well, i've tried it and i'm a believer. i love it. now that i have thai roommates, i wanted to get in on the action and participate regularly. the only part that makes me feel bad is that i feel like it looks real weird. i.e. colonialist. i.e. i recline on a chair with my hands behind my head, while my two thai roommates kneel on the floor beside me and tweeze away. i'm one step away from giving them scarlet fever and making them refer to me as "madam."

at least i'll have a hair-free-armpit colony.

but a poor reflection

2010-07-17T22:45:00.002-07:00

this week, a friend from venezuela came to stay with us. and as many visitors we’ve had to our home in the community, it was striking to host someone who loved our neighbors so affectionately. regardless of the fact that she knew just 2 words of thai and had never met them before, she treated them all with such tenderness and real joy in meeting them and spent the extra minute interacting with them. after just one day, neighbors were asking about her, remarking on her adorableness, missing her. seeing her simply love people reminded me that of its specialness, of its graciousness. it helped remind me of the value of a simple, warm, yet bold expression of love and that it hasn’t and won’t be lost on people in the day-to-day of life.

what a helpful reflection of what is essential. paul knew it. if i share the gospel and hope with every thai person, but have not love, i am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. if i have the gift of leadership and can rid my community of all drug using and dealing, and if i have faith that can move cities and fathom all theology, but have not love, i am nothing. if i give all ipossess to the destitute and surrender my body to the violence, but have not love, i am nothing.

delight in someone in the margins of your life today.

this warmed my heart

2010-07-13T09:24:00.000-07:00

i hate cats.

if i could kick cats and not be shunned from society, i would. i won't go into why for the sake of you cat-people out there, but i pray that one day you will come to the light.

my friend just sent me this blog post of this email exchange between a graphic designer and an admin who just lost her cat and it's so reprehensibly hilarious. (if you like cats, don't read it)

i know i should feel sorry for the woman who lost her cat, but the graphic designer is just such a funny a-hole.

ps- as i was reading this thread, a cat right outside my window fell off a neighboring roof and did the whole "raaaarrrrr" cat-scream and i laughed with my head thrown back.

hey diddle diddle

2010-07-12T22:28:00.000-07:00

you can't beat thai nicknames. golf, beer, earth, cream, ball. they love using english words as nicknames because their real names are so auspiciously stinking long. the superstition is that if you call someone by a nickname, you can trick spirits so they won't be able to know the real names of people. hey, it's also a great trick on people, too. i know like nobody's real name. any time a thai person adds me on facebook, i never know who it is, especially when they use the cute-but-looks-nothing-like-you profile pic. who the heck is supaporn rattanatharathorn?

a neighboring family has three little kids and i am loving the choices they've made for nicknames. the oldest girl is "snooker" (brits' billiards), the middle 1 yr old boy is "snack" (and he is a pudgeball), and the infant girl is "nickname" (why come up with a nickname when you can just use the word?).

why? so they can go by nook, nack and nick.

that's right; we live in a nursery rhyme.

what can you accept? i mean, expect?

2010-07-11T21:58:00.000-07:00

our team started having a monthly day of fasting and prayer that ends with breaking the fast in one of our communities and sharing time with neighbors. yesterday, we met in photong, christy and suzy's slum and as they were showing us around, christy pointed out the swamp water level and the ubiquitous trash. one of the recent common concerns they've been running into as they talk to neighbors is the issue of trash building up in the swamp water below their houses. it's a huge fire safety concern, jeopardizes health and in general makes the community less pleasant. everybody hates the trash, but everyone just keeps throwing new trash in there; they just accept it.

and then christy pointed out,

"oh, and that's the shark head our neighbor hung up while we were gone."

and sure enough, there was an actual dried out shark head dangling from their overhang. could she tell us why it was there or why the neighbors chose to hang it on their eave or what they were going to do with it? nope. she didn't know. she just accepted it. i was jealous. i wanted a shark head to hang up. she did know that i couldn't take it, though. dang; a shark head is so badass.

it was like the time i was in a taxi with my friend, lisa, having a great conversation with the driver about his life and about jesus and lots of other things. and then lisa pointed out to me that he had three thumbs.

how you can expect stuff like this?

my way or the thai-way.

2010-07-10T20:04:00.000-07:00

or if you prefer melding the spelling: "thigh-way."

but that's a whole different post altogether...

after being here for almost 3 year, it pretty much feels like home and i generally prefer going along with the thai way of life.

except for a few things. i just can't onto this thai-way: all together. all the time.

Americans; we stand and declare: we like space! we like independence! we like other peoples' kids to remain their kids and our kids to remain our kids! we like calling ahead! we like efficiency! we make subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) hints so you know it's time to go home so we can get back to our own lives!

oh, but

Thais! we sit and gauge the situation and maybe will suggest: we'll go together. we will stay so you won't be lonely and friendless. we will start when you start. we will stop when you stop. we will all sleep in one big pile (ok, maybe not a pile, but altogether nonetheless).

whiskey goggles

2010-07-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

meet jen.

she's an intern here for the summer from the us. she's chinese american. everyone thinks we're sisters. it's confusing for neighbors. "why does your face look so asian but you speak english so well but you're learning thai and you're not sisters?"

jen sent our kid-neighbor, may, back home last night, which we usually do. may's house is a bit of a drunk-guy hotspot and her dad and friends aren't with it most of the time. she's still learning thai so she couldn't get the complete gist of what they were saying, but jen felt uncomfortable because they kept commenting on her hair.

and then may, embarrassed, would say "daaaaad!"

were they hitting on her?

well, mystery's solved. we found out today they had some confusion and couldn't figure out if jen was me. is it michelle with a new haircut? did she get it cut shorter? it kinda looks like michelle? did michelle get shorter? beside the different hairstyle, apparently, a 5inch difference doesn't give it away.

whiskey goggles, man, whiskey goggles.

just.

2010-07-08T23:11:00.000-07:00

X just popped out a baby three months ago. hearing from other new moms that they often experience somewhat of an identity crisis, X has contrastingly felt freer in her identity than she has in years. just being a mom is an easier expectation to live up to than being stellar at work, being an entrepreneur, and being spectacularly ambitious. she can do they mom thing. she can let go of the rest.

Y just got engaged and is ecstatic but is stuck in tension. question upon question she asks if she'll lose herself in this marriage. will she just meld into his life? will he cross over into her world some? is she overreacting? can they have an even and reciprocating marriage? will she still be an equally valuable individual?

Z just lost a friend to cancer. he was a buddhist. she's a christian. she wonders what this means because of who she is. where will this friend go? what does this mean for her faith?

I just feel exhausted. in our community and church work, things are really starting to roll: organizing youth to plan activities in the community, opened up a youth center, volunteers are partnering withour work, seekers are joining the church, etc. but, i experience joy, stress, irritation and love all in the span of an hour. will it always feel so tiring and do i have enough to give? i wonder what the future here will look like. i wonder too much what my future will look like.

in theory, identity is just who you are. you can't earn it, choose it, or be without one. so why do we have so much trouble finding it? why does it bring us so much stress to not understand it?

there goes sleeping in.

2010-07-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

it's been a slow process trying to organize people in our community. people feel that change and unified work is doubtful. "you can't change people," they say. but one of the avenues that has ben working has been among our youth. they're eager to hope, to plan, and to work.

so, this past month, the kids put on their own exercise program! here are the kids planning the activities and breaking up responsibilties.

they had to pick the most hard-core option: running laps at 6am on saturday morning.

oh man. we didn't know if we adults could get up, much less kids.

well, they did it! so for 3 saturdays in a row, kids got up and ran around the block in front of the community. kik was in charge of name tags, mu and diu were in charge of registration, earth made a poster, deu brought water.

and the support from neighbors has been remarkable. a couple youth carried a donation box and adults getting their coffee or buying fruit threw in some baht to support the cause. they cheer on the kids. one old grandma ran alongside the kids. aunt jaew specially made food.

they remarked that one of the things they liked most was being able to make friends from different groups and areas in the community.

the third saturday, we asked if they wanted to continue running or change the activity to something else and they unanimously chose to change. but even so, they still get their little butts up on saturday morning ready to run.

we're in the process of building leaders among the youth and their excitement is even surprising. they keep asking, "when are we meeting next?"

waterloo double dark

2010-07-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

"from man's sweat and god's love, beer came into the world." - st. arnoldus

cheers.

4th of garakadakom (that's july to you, punk!)

2010-07-04T09:24:00.000-07:00

if american history was written by thai people...

*the declaration of independence would have been written. then rejected. then rewritten. then rejected. then rewritten...

*star spangled banner would be sung by a high-pitched, warbly lady (she sings everything here including the king-honoring-song before movies and the 100% berry juice ad).

*uncle samitivej would tweeze out all his goatee.

*the statue of liberty would put on some real clothes and not impersonate a monk.

*independence day eats would be bbq'd fish balls and vanilla milk hot dogs.

happy 4th, friends.

is there a doctor in the house?

2010-07-03T03:39:00.000-07:00

i just ran across this map highlighting the # of doctors per inhabitants around the world according to the world health report 2006.

thailand's 2,700:1

while iraq's 1,500:1

malawi & tanzania pop a whopping 50,000 inhabitants per doc. i can't even wrap my mind around that.

highest ratio? surprisingly, cuba @ 170 (while the us is at 390).

map found here by adsoftheworld.com

wanna start a book club?

2010-06-29T21:44:00.000-07:00

anyone want to read and discuss books together?

(this is the type of blog post that shows that the blogger obviously has nothing else interesting to say but wants to write something.)

i just read (in order of likes):

prayer (richard foster): foster's book illuminating different streams and methods of prayer has definitely been the most helpful book on prayer i've ever read. practical, simple, and unpretentious. i'll be re-reading this for years.

the brief wondrous life of oscar wao (junot diaz): punchy, fun, literary dominican scene (plus drama). but i'd have to say my favorite aspect of this book was diaz's bold nerdiness - ebullient use of footnotes, lord of the rings references, smart-allecky historical notes. i wish the author had a little more affection for his characters (or did he, but just expressed it in an irreverent way?)

my country my people (lin yutang): old-school chinese scholar educated in the west who returned to his chinese roots and wrote about chinese culture and mentality. it should be said that he communicates in a very ethno-centric manner, but isn't that the essence of being chinese? also, it made me realize how chinese i really am; how i view modesty, politics, aesthetics, "old roguery." hehe.

3 cups of tea (greg mortenson, david relin): greg mortenson is the man with a "mission to promote peace...one school at a time" in pakistan and afghanistan. it reminded me a lot of the biography of dr. paul farmer (mountains beyond mountains). i felt like the general gist was = one guy who is driven, passionate, and incomparable can get a whole lot of great stuff done. i finished feeling unsure of what the author was trying to accomplish with this book. is he challenging us to live radically like he did? donate money to the central asia institute? be impressed by his work?

a history of thailand (chris baker, pasuk phongpaichit): comprehensive history of the ins-and-outs of thailand's politics, monarchy, culture over the last couple centuries. though dry, i really appreciated lit on thai history without overt spin. interesting perspective on the promotion of buddhism by the monarchy to mystify and elevate royalty. maybe i shouldn't say too much on a public page...

secret life of bees (sue monk kidd): i need a break from reading southern chick-lit. this "ladies-rule!!" book was a bit too syruppy and one-dimensional for me. plus, the fact that they've adapted it into a movie made me picture dakota fanning as the main character the whole time.

got any suggestions of good reads?

(i'm going through rebecca (dumaurier) and the count of monte cristo (dumas) right now. walden's next. so far it's me and eriz. want to join?)

the brief wondrous life of michelle wao.

2010-06-28T00:48:00.000-07:00

or more like a "brief look into the wondrously mundane trifles of my life."

*all depictions are actual, real-life events.

**no animals were harmed in the making of this comic. (except the consumable ones.)

avoid into eyeball

2010-06-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

thai (ideal) culture is so gentle and pleasant. patience! virtue! peacefulness! consideration!

so it's shocking to find things that the average american would find offensive. granted, we are uber-politically-correct.

like this:

oh yeah. it says "black man mop." let's face it: who wants a normal mop when you can have a racially stereotyped one? also, why does it not surprise me that it's in "chinese" font? i bet it was one of my billion relatives that came up with this brilliant branding idea.

but for this product i have to thank my roomie, lexie, for pointing it out to me.

it was in our bathroom for weeks before i noticed it. one of our roommates, w, bought it for the purpose of...who the h* knows?!? regardless, i've been looking for a product to dispel horniness, thank god.

and it doesn't surprise me that it requires sheep embryo. but where are eye of newt and toe of frog? i, for one, am glad that it now comes in this handy dandy 3.4oz tube as opposed those unwieldy cauldrons i used to have to lug around in my purse.

oh, and the back is just as freakishly awesome.

"days for sub-two?" "if immodesty, sonly washing?" "first shall-face wetness?" (i just spent the last five minutes trying to figure out what the hyphenated word "shall-face" means according to the rules of english grammar... งง)

i'm pretty sure these instructions couldn't have been expressed any clearer, though.

g-chicken. k-egg. k-bottle. k-buffalo.

2010-06-21T20:28:00.000-07:00

can you think of one - just one - american who can't recite the english alphabet correctly?

as i was trying to remember the thai alphabet, i realized that not one single thai person i know can recite the 44-character thai alphabet correctly. not students. not college graduates. not even thai language teachers.

whuck?

maybe because:

*2 characters are obsolete and a bunch of others are used about as often as i wear makeup.

*the 44 characters count only consonants; vowels are a separate matter.

*consonants are stratified into three classes that determine a word's tone. those snobby high class consonants think they're so great.

*redundant consonant sounds. you've got 5 Ks, 4Ss, 2 Ys, etc.

*i'm convinced it's because there's no song. if there was a song, we'd all know it. i wonder if i can put it to pokerface...

line art and design

let's play password!

2010-06-20T20:25:00.000-07:00

Q. what does this describe?

lady sardines. dirty dish factory. growing, in every sense of the word. difference in age between oldest and youngest = 88 years. gameroom. the church building. 5 women and a baby. fried egg shop. character building incubator (a.k.a. mutually submit or mutually explode). indoor fart garden. the late night show OR the facts of life OR full house (minus that Tool, danny tanner) OR the bachelorette. though, i do wish it was 3oRock.

A. our house.

oh home, sweet home.

weenie whiny baby

2010-06-18T20:23:00.000-07:00

since coming back to thailand after furlough, certain things stand out as different. the most notable, repeated experience is that this don't-show-'em-you-have-feelings-non-crier gets all watery-eyed (everyone knows that only weenie whiny babies cry). while walking through the airport, while sharing a fried fish with my old thai teacher, while listening to a friend pray, while watching bad thai soaps with roommates. there's a wave of distinct clarity: god loves thailand so f*ing much.

yeah. that much.

no day like today

2010-06-17T20:14:00.001-07:00

today’s date = june 17, 2553 (though you may think i’m writing this from the future in a flying car via my avatar, it’s really just the buddhist calendar system. however, my future flying car-driving avatar will be excellent, trust me).

today’s special: taro/coconut old-timey popsicle = 12B (~$0.37)

today’s news: my prodigal suitcase has finally gotten to bangkok after sowing its wild oats in germany. i run to you with open arms, samsonite-full-o’-haribo.

today’s worst smell: e’s 5-day lingering throw-up smell. where the h* is it coming from?

today’s best surprise: finding “jamie the very worst missionary”

today’s worst surprise: realizing the pork toast stick (sic) i was going to eat was over a month old and inedible.

today’s idiom: “pasting gold on an idol’s back” = doing good deeds that no one will see.

today’s most endearing moment: watching 18 year-old a, former drug-dealer turned fried-egg-dealer-new-believer powder down grandma gluan’s unashamed-89-yr-old naked boobs. it’s a long story.

termites beware!

2010-05-31T05:16:00.001-07:00

the youth center in my community (samaki pattana) is now officially finished! we spent the day moving stuff in and spraying against termites. (maybe that's why i feel a little droozy?)

as barebones as it is (no paint, no linoleum flooring, few furnishings as of yet), there's been much talk among neighbors of what it could become for the kids: a library, a safe house, an after-school program...

we shall see.

(the inside of the youth center a week ago, before it was finished. i forgot to bring my camera today. poo)

comment moderation

2010-05-31T04:13:00.001-07:00

now that things in thailand are back to normal, so goes my blogging.

i turned on "comment moderation" because i started getting all these spam comments on this blog, some more disturbing than others. they're all ads, but i actually laughed at the one i just deleted:

extra wide shoes.

really? that's how you want to get customers for extra wide shoes? my blog?

thank god for cable

2010-05-19T04:35:00.000-07:00

got a chance to watch cable today and am actually able to see what's happening around bangkok.

what's happened in the last 24 hours?

*udd (red shirts) leaders surrendered and protesters moved violent rioting to other parts of bangkok.

*rioting in other provinces has turned violent as well.

*fires set in buildings in 20-some places around bangkok, including central world mall, supposedly s.e.asia's largest mall.

*thai stock market will be closed for the next two days, to add to the closings of schools, embassies, banks, and government offices.

*government has taken over broadcasts of all public tv stations.

*city-wide curfew issued from 8pm tonight - 6am tomorrow

please pray for thailand.

black smoke rising

2010-05-17T01:40:00.000-07:00

it's weird coming back to bangkok where the political conflict is currently rife with violence.

you can check out this google map to see where the protests are centered. it's the big smoke plume.

View Larger Map

fortunately, we're much further east, far from the fighting. but, the issue is on everyone's hearts and lips. what will happen with our government? what will happen to our country? what will our future be?

welcome home

2010-05-11T02:26:00.001-07:00

after 157 days of furlough, 13 countries, 12 US states, i'm back in bangkok.

i have to admit, i was feeling a little anxious coming back, but as soon as i saw thais at the airport, all that went away and i'm so glad to be home.

ecclesiastically speaking

2010-05-04T06:09:00.000-07:00

he has made everything beautiful in its time. he has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. i know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. that everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God.

ecclesiastes 3:11-13

first impressions of barcelona

2010-04-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

barcelona smells like cigars.

i like how everyone walks.

i speak spanish softly to hide my poor skills.

i like how late everything gets going (lunch no earlier than 2, dinner no earlier than 9).

i look forward to daily morning cups of cafe amb llet and ending with tapas.i like the diversity of unashamed architecture.

i dream of jamon iberico de bolletas.

i'm surprised that most businesses closes on weekends.

spaniards are both a little standoffish, yet warm.

i can't believe this country was once such a colonial powerhouse.

view of barcelona from la sagrada familia. this gaudi-designed cathedral has been under construction for over 100 years with no end in sight. it is, by far, the most impressive building i've ever seen: both massive and extremely intricately ornate. i said "wow" every 20 seconds.

paella marinera from can manel. it had mini lobsters. it had octopus. and i didn't know mussels could be this succulent.

old books at the mercat de sant antoni.

attic at the gaudi-designed (again) casa batllo. this house is in the "manzana de la discordia," meaning the "apple of discord" (it's a play on words. manzana = apple & block). there are three stunning buildings on this block of completely different design: modernist, art nouveau, and gothic.

i'm here.

2010-04-18T01:14:00.000-07:00

every city should have a song as dramatic as this:

barcelona is just this awesome.

i gotta tell you about jamon. oh man.

dang.

2010-04-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

leaving the u.s. this coming thursday morning and i'm really hating how bad of a last-minute preparer i am. blergh.

to-do tomorrow: skype tommy (yay!), look at some houses, bus my butt to target in pas, laundry, pack, post office, meet my supervisor, expense report forms, complete orders, calculate my budget for next year...

at least i got my taxes done already.

i don't think i can squeeze in a trip to in-n-out. poo.

club 33

2010-04-11T22:17:00.000-07:00

i decry secret societies. i also secretly want to be in one.

because of some friends with connections, we landed reservations to club 33, the members-only secret restaurant in disneyland. the lowest tier membership costs over $10k with annual fees of at least $3k+ (not including your dining costs), so i'm not going to be joining any time soon. but, since we didn't have to pay membership, it ends up being a pretty good deal - $85 (+tax, tip) for entree, seafood and dessert buffet, and admission into disneyland and california adventure. not bad considering the price of a ticket to get into disneyland and cal adventure alone now cost $97.

club 33 was created for poo-pooing vip guests to disneyland and in true walt disney form, no expense or detail was spared. the club is furnished with disney relics, including a harpsichord made exclusively for lillian disney and a marble table used in mary poppins. and unless you knew club 33 was there, you'd never notice it. the unassuming green door is just marked 33 in the new orleans district and you have to buzz in to gain access. i love secrets; i'm just horrible at keeping them.

i ordered the pan-seared chateaubriand, cooked rare. best steak i've had. waitstaff were incredibly affable and brought us out a free bowl of black truffle mac & cheese and gave us impromptu tours of the restaurant. did i mention it was also buffet? i hurt.

the rest of disneyland was also excellent, as always. every morning in thailand, i drink coffee from my disneyland mug and i dream of returning. "to all who come to this happy place: welcome."

muditors

2010-04-10T23:26:00.000-07:00

my friend, j, several months ago invited me to the irvine lake mud run with her and her co-workers. first off, the moment she began talking about this event, i was sold.

a. 3.8mi run. ok, i kind of hate running, but mostly because it's a solitary sport and because i can't stop thinking about how much left i have to go. but a purpose to run regularly? oh boy!

b. mud. socially acceptable dirtiness. i'm there. it's amazing how much mud can attach to the human body in unsavory places.

c. obstacle course. you dream of things like these. walls, pyramids, mud pits, foam machines...glory! oh, and as a team, you have to cross the finish line linking arms. (a said, "i ain't linking arms with nobody!")

d. costumes. it's hokey and people dress up to run this thing. one guy in a suit. one team in diapers. several teams as teenage mutant ninja turtles. i'm kicking myself for not having a get-up.

e. j's team name was "muditors" because they are financial auditors. i mean, come on - how could you say no to a pun like that? viva la nerd.

only downside? more rocks than we thought. we tried to buttslide down one choice muddy hill and i tore my shorts (and the cheek it was protecting) on a sharp rock.

given the opportunity, i would do a mud run every weekend. maybe i could organize a charity mud run in thailand? ooh.

alternate buzzwords

2010-04-08T16:28:00.000-07:00

there are several current popular phrases and words that are getting a little long-in-the-tooth. so, i'm going to offer alternatives so people can start using these better ones (until i get sick of them, too).

"viral" there is a certain imagery that goes along with this that involves viruses and dna and flashbacks to the movie outbreak. i understand that people want to express an infiltration of a network or culture, but it just sounds so sinister and like a public health hazard. so how about we just substitute "oprah" for "viral." it's pretty much the same thing, right? she puts something on her reading list or her favorite things and it becomes an immediate success.

"green" this started annoying me because now it's attached to everything, especially things that shouldn't be considered environmentally friendly. how about we introduce some other colors into the mix. yellow feels lonely. burnt sienna feels rejected. maybe yellow green = environmentally-safe-in-the-u.s.-but-dumps-our-waste-in-china.

"love on ___." this one's big only in christian circles when people want to serve and care for others and is used in a very well-meaning way. my beef is that it sounds kind of gross. can you imagine a normal person saying in conversation, "he loved on me." it sounds disgusting; it sounds like someone is doing something on top of a person. rather than a person being a subject of love, it relegates that person to an non-participating direct object. can we just say "love" and celebrate those people that are the subjects of our love?

combining names of couples. bennifer. brangelina. it used to be for the stars. now every couple uses simple arithmetic to create a new super-identity. joe schmo + jane doe = schmodoe. well, relationships can be complicated. why not introduce other types of math in equations? like:

or how about:

(i just spent way too long figuring out how to code in latex to write those equations.)

american gourmet: fact or fiction?

2010-04-07T23:43:00.000-07:00

in a stroke of great fortune, i met a couple in the philippines from spain vacationing, whom after spending a while chatting with them and telling them i was planning on visiting spain in the near future, they warmly invited me to stay with them when in madrid.

and they really meant it, which is amazingly hospitable of them. if that's any indication of spaniards, i think i'm going to love spain.

so, as i'm getting ready to stay with them, i was thinking, "oh! i'll get them some gourmet treats from the states!" great idea, michelle! *pat, pat self on the back*

now, while i'm looking for stuff to give, i'm finding that almost all of our gourmet foodstuffs are european. and the interWang searching is not helpful, but instead yielding results like: hershey's chocolate, beef jerky, food mixes (like gumbo, brownies, etc.). if this is remotely true, europeans eat like college students.

any suggestions for good ol' american food gifts?

(i'm trying not to give in and order from zingerman's)

would this pass through tsa?

my po po

2010-04-06T15:00:00.000-07:00

when i was in l.a. in january, my grandma, though significantly disabled, was still lucid enough to be able to say one word to me, "gway" (obedient/good) and to hold my hand and kiss it every once in a while.

and now, three months later, it's so different.

there's no speech left, no glimmer of recognition. before, she used to hit only the home health helper, now she hits and scratches everyone. the saddest loss of old age is losing one's personality.

self-psychoanalysis

2010-04-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

self-realization of the day:

i don't think i'm very good at inviting people into my life, i tend to prefer to plug into other peoples' lives (i.e. incarnation). but, i'm finding that after a while, i begin to feel not understood and kind of alone. perhaps i'm more guarded than i thought.

ask someone to do something that i love and is personally dear without them already expressing interest? it's a risk i rarely take. i fear obligating people. i fear rejection. i fear judgment.

while i know that a person is not the sum of their interests and loves - wait, do i? in a way, that's how i see people: as a composite of interests. that we're, in a sense, embodied personal ads (i like pina coladas, long walks on the beach, etc.). so, when somebody i love doesn't like something i do, i can't help feeling that their reception is a reflection on me personally.

so the question is:

will i allow others to reject my loves but still love me?

here's to asking people to incarnate with me, too.

happy easter, folks

2010-04-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

easter in l.a.

mmmm...good friday

2010-04-02T23:30:00.000-07:00

ever been to a hipster carnival?

first friday of the month on abbot kinney in venice, all the food trucks that can pow-wow and all the hungry hipsters descend into a frenetic swarm of street-side gnoshers.

after good friday service @ evergreenla, we chased some jesus body&blood with kogi tacos, the coolhaus ice cream sandwiches, the frysmith chili fries, the grilled cheese truck's grilled mac&cheese, grilled onions w. bbq pulled pork, and nom nom's bahn mi. that's the kind of last supper i want.

if you haven't been and live in l.a. - you have to go at least once. none of us were disappointed despite the horrendous parking or the crowds. i was only disappointed that some trucks were already sold out by 10.

"this grilled cheese sandwich was broken for you, take and eat it."

hair-raising

2010-04-01T18:36:00.000-07:00

i don't think i've ever been so inspired by a 4-min thai pantene commercial.

i like the part where you can tell it's a hair commercial. haha.

millenials

2010-03-31T18:16:00.000-07:00

there's one conversation that keeps coming up since i've been back in the states and that is:

what is the deal with this millenial generation?

granted, i'm at the cusp of this generation, but as this new generation enters the workforce it's interesting what they're known for:

*extremely digitally connected, but socially awkward

*social activists, high self-esteem, self-confident

*sensitive, are unaccustomed to failure

*know how to use all the right jargon ("sustainable," "proactive")

*expect success, i.e. sense of entitlement

*rare to find gratefulness, humility, or the idea of "paying one's dues"

want an example? check out this correspondence between a nyu mba candidate and a professor's slicing response. my mouth dropped open when i read this. i could never imagine addressing a prof in this way.

am i being too harsh?

please help me see where i'm wrong.

in the year 2000...

god, i love the blue line

2010-03-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

lax g shuttle to the green line to the blue line. the woman next to me is sweet talking her boo on the phone and has the same pumas my sister used to wear. the slight, 50-something mexican man in the buffalo-checked flannel rearranges his broccoli-hued bicycle. as i stare at the rainbow of buttons on the operator's console, my attention's hooked by sudden loud voices.

a young, black woman with lace poking above her low-collared top, black leggings stretched transparent and a flamboyant, young, white punk-rocker boy with a barbell bisecting his septum yell-fighting.

she: you wanna f*ing go outside?

he: f* you.

she: i'll take you outside.

he: you need a new weave-cap.

she: i will beat your a**.

he: you wanna f* with me?

the train stops at slauson and she strides out of the train with her friend and walks around to the window he's sitting next to.

she: f*ing come outside.

he: bye. get off.

she: boy, you better f*ing get out.

he: no, this isn't my f*ing stop.

she: why you not getting out?

he: i'm not f*ing getting off this train.

she: get out the train.

she strides back in, not minding the closing doors.

he: why did you do that?

she: you didn't f*ing get off.

he: girl, you missed your stop.

she: i don't f*ing care. i'll get off on the next stop. you better get out.

he starts clapping to accentuate each word.

he: I. clap AM. clap NOT. clap GET.- clap -TING. clap OFF. F*. clap YOU. clap

at this point, i just start laughing. i make a mental note: clap syllables out the next time i get into an argument. couldn't you see that being really effective in a hot discussion about ministry methodology? (WE. clap F*.- clap -ING. clap NEED. clap TO. clap MAKE. clap DI-. clap -SCI-. clap -PLES. clap)

she's incensed beyond belief. she's yelling, he's yelling and clapping, and other passengers on the packed train start chiming in:

"see how the devil stole your joy?"

"don't argue with him/her."

"y'all need to shut up."

i really can't stop laughing at this point, because this is exactly how i remember l.a.

we reach vernon and the girl and her friend really get out (she does have to take another train back one stop), and as she continues her barrages of f* you's, she gives the window one last whack on the way past.

he, turning to the rest of us on the train: god, i love the blue line.

random passenger: man, you gay as sh*.

he: f* you.

oh l.a., it's good to be home.

photo by noteworthyvisuals.com

and the apple fritter lived happily ever after

2010-03-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

we parked a block away from donut world and a kid carrying a pink paper box of donuts impregnated my thoughts with donuts.

2:00p

me: "mmmm. donuts."

7:22p, after dinner

me: ooh, let's get donuts.

bonnie: i'm stuffed.

erica: maybe later?

bonnie: i just ate two maple bacon donuts from dynamo on saturday.

collective drool

*looong conversation about types of donuts ensues: crullers, old fashioned, bread vs. cake donuts, etc.

11:52p

bonnie: do you still want a donut?

me: hey, bob's donuts isn't too far from here. they've been reviewed on yelp 686 times.

bonnie: you want to eat a donut?

me: why? you wouldn't eat one?

bonnie: well, if we go, i might eat one.

me: maybe we'll just split one.

bonnie: should we go?

me: do you want to go? i'll go if you want to go.

(*much longer conversation with poorly veiled donut desires)

we went.

got an apple fritter and a chocolate-glazed old fashioned after midnight.

cashier guy at bob's donuts: you guys are tragically early for an apple fritter.

well said, cashier guy; well said.

people i thought i'd never become

2010-03-25T17:17:00.000-07:00

distracted girl. i've always had a short attention span. i think that's why there have been so many careers that i've honestly considered: astronaut, plumber, advertising, snl cast member (i didn't say they were all feasible). but, there's something about dating that keeps me mentally processing. when will this heart and this head agree? which one will win?

introverted girl. nearing the end of this national tour, i'm feeling the need for alone time. is it bad that i'm looking forward to going back to bkk for rest?

the crier. i hated that kid in elementary school. i, of course, would never let myself reveal my weakness by crying. i was one tough, tube sock-clad, sweatpants-wearing, gap-toothed kid. but, i found myself on the phone with my dad tuesday morning in dallas, crying, while he told me how proud he was of me. i can't hold it together anymore.

the pressurer. i tried to convince myself that i was laid back, but i'm not. i have unattainably high expectations for myself which i realize transfers over to the people closest to me. me and disappointment; we've got some things to work out. when will i learn how to actively trust god?

"you know what you should do..."

2010-02-10T22:34:00.001-08:00

as we hit lent, i've been thinking about what i should choose to fast from. food didn't seem like an option (1. i didn't want lent to become a post-winter diet and 2. i'm only in the u.s. for so long and i gotta get my grub on).

this past weekend, i've realized that i give a lot of unsolicited advice. in my efforts to try to help people solve their problems, i've come to recognize that friends aren't always (or even mostly) looking to find answers, but rather an empathetic listener and someone to understand.

you mean people just want a friend? what?!?!

it struck me most poignantly when it was expressed to me that my well-meaning suggestions were not actually helpful, but sometimes hurtful. i think that's the thing that i hate doing most: hurting when i mean to strengthen.

so, this year, i will begin my fast from giving unsolicited advice. if you catch me starting to say, "have you tried..." or "you know, you could..." - just muzzle me.

on another thought tangent, i'm back in michigan for the first fat tuesday since i was in high school. growing up in michigan, fat tuesday is known as paczki day, centering around the double-fried, bloated - i mean "filled" - polish donuts that are the paczkis. it's reported that these hand-held diabetes grenades have 3x the amount of fat as regular donuts since they were traditionally made to prepare for lenten fasting (quick! use up all the lard, sugar, and eggs!). i remember having school-sponsored paczki-eating contests in middle school (in seventh grade, this one kid ate 6 and then had an angioplasty. i'm only lying about the angioplasty.), watching paczki-launching cannon competitions on the local news, and looking forward to pounding a custard-filled paczki like phillip the hyper hypo. it wasn't until i moved away for college that i realized that no one else knew what the h paczkis were.

i stopped in kroger after a church staff meeting and got my paczki. god loves gluttons, too.

ooh l.a. l.a

2010-02-10T11:57:00.000-08:00

it's ironic that the city that took me the longest to actually like is the one that feels the most familiar and like home. l.a., you've won my heart yet again. 3 weeks seems hardly enough.

since my memories are inextricably linked to food, thoughts of l.a. are a running filmstrip of past meals shared. so this is the best way i know how to give a worthy and manageable tribute to l.a..

gastronomies:

in-n-out can any trip to socal be justified without a stop? this is fast-food in its rightful glory. i.o.u., tina, for picking me up my ridiculously complicated order.

q noodles velvety beef noodle soup taiwan-style. that's how irwin looks all the time.

spitz boy talk over doner kebab with mary in lil' tokyo.

fogata mexicana wednesday-special 79cent fish tacos with the rev. dr. honorable maharajah ken fong ruminating on the drug scene. secret's in the sauce.

cha cha cha i feel like you couldn't come up with a better word to describe ada. don't miss the sangria. cayman paella won't let you down.

marston's brunch institution with the old roomie. you can't just order the fruit plate, em!

green street restaurant big, classic american food with the e-fam. my salad was the size of a small house.

euro pane rosemary currant bread did me right two loaves in a row. nice pairing with hilary's tagine, buttsy!

cole's disputed originator of french dip. the dip makes it tasty. the happy hour makes it cheap. $5 for a half dip and a side. doris and i agree that the desserts are better.

cuidad new latin prix-fixe (restaurant week) make s.koh and i pre-, intra- and post-satisfied. oh, ceviche!

road to seoul beefy t bbq'd (i'm sure) a whole cow for us ladies. giggly, korean waitress named coco asked beefy t if he loved coco. i'll have to tell you this story in person. haha.

shau may small group cheap chow. huge pork chop rice + mt. shaved ice = $8 and huge stomach. and why is everything there sticky?

golden city grandma's first food taken by mouth in months. mom and dad treated my friends to a chinese seafood banquet.

home girl cafe half of samber took me here to support ex-gangstas as they serves you spinach-mint limeade and carnitas tacos w/ apple-tomatillo salsa.

kogi bbq truck i finally made my pilgramage with preggy d. rain kept the line short. drool-worthy koreo-tacos. sleeper=tres leches choc cupcake.

casa 425 claremont's so different now. quaint, chic hotel lobby bar was the perfect place to catch up with megan over kobe sliders and spirits. congrats!

pho minh my-hero-pulitzer-prize-jonathan-gold's fave pho joint in s. el monte. they don't even let you get a small bowl. i love hanging with ebcla staff.

urth caffe i can't think of a better way to start a day of errands with tina. and how do some people get so painfully hipster?

ondal 2 one pot of korean crab stew becomes 3 courses right before your eyes. i wish every restaurant gave out bibs. and why is it so funny when droid&nailhead bicker?

mary's market who knew sierra madre could feel so much like appalachia with wifi?

hanabi sushi day with beefy t. maybe i should've called him fishy t in this one? get more than what you pay for.

grand central market produce at it's ripest (or beyond) with international grab-n-go fare. right across from grandma's - great for jade and i (both in the same car-less boat).

libations:

quickly weekly mandatory pre-small group $1 boba with irwin&carrie.

jungle teabar taiwanese desserts again with the i&c's boba obsession

lost souls cafe i swore to jade that i wasn't luring her down a tiny, dark alley to kill her. just coffee.

back abbey 20 or so stellar beers on tap and great gastropub fare. megan always knows where to get the drinks.

vinatero who knew irwin and i could spend an hour here tasting and meeting super friendly sommeliers and brewers? if you find a duchesse de bourgogne (flemish red ale), try it - nothing like it.

jameson brown coffee roasted on-site in a warehouse looking space. i'm pretty sure 3 other tables around me were having ministry discussions.

buster's talked china with erin over coffee by the tracks.

and of course my mom's crazy morning superfood drink (it's berry-flavored gruel)...

confections:

dot's cupcakes sea salt caramel, strawberry, coconut lime, red velvet...glycemic shock

village sweets sweets for a sweet. i wish i could've sent one of their cheesecake caramel apples.

little flower candy shop wee candy shop with fantastic lunch. don't sit by the water cooler.

paradise juice cafe i have problems when places have too many options. pinkberry, suck it. how appropriate is it that i went with people named golf, ching, and trustee. man, i love thais.

yellow house peach sorbet in a peach. you pay to stay. man, those koreans.

scoops can i live here? best ice cream. just go. i managed to make it there twice.

to prevent myself from turning my liver into pate, i've been convincing unsuspecting friends to do my dorky yoga video. here is me sucking the robinson's and megan into yoga-ing with me. oh the soft minds of children...

goooooooooooaaaaaal!!!!

2010-02-02T22:53:00.000-08:00

i like setting goals. it helps me get stuff done - especially in packing fun in. have i said this, yet? - furlough is the best!

goals for colorado:

eating with br. phil and sis-in-law mandy. this is what happens when you're in a chinese-american family.

beet-cured salmon @ the squeaky bean in denver.

phil just violated the family rule of cat-hating and picked up a stray. it's funny how the devil used phil's compassion to ruin him! this is phil "manipulating" the cat. it poops all over the place. look how evil it's eyes are!

aretreat with the jesuits: getting my prayer on. awww sookie sookie now! fortunately, servant partners has all staff come meet with our furlough director and retreat when we come back. prayer is something i'm sensing god's direction and push in - everything we've prayed for in thailand has shown movement while the things we haven't prayed for have stayed relatively stagnant. i'm so into the contemplative stream right now.

current reads = merton's asian journals, st. terese of lisieux, foster's prayer.

ok, this is a bit cynical for a joke, but hey, don't we sometimes feel that way?

arock the casa bonita. the first year i went on servant partners' staff full-time, i watched south park religiously (that's what happens when i don't have to wake up early). so, i had to go to this ridiculous place with cliff divers, a gorilla man, horrible faux-mexican food, and legendary sopapillas.

it was ridiculous. the gorilla man sat at our table with us. katie won a fish eraser in ski ball. latin fantasies with phil marin. do any of these sentences even make sense to you?

it was too hard picking a picture for this wacky place, but i felt like this one encompasses the cheese...

adrink beer and tour breweries. there's no better thing to do than chew the theological cud with rj and rach over a heady brew. check out phil's rad "asian-red-face" outside of new belgium's facility (they brew fat tire - but they have amazing belgian style beers and a free tour).

aturn my butt a nice hue of black & blue (a.k.a. snowboarding)

the first time i went snowboarding at tahoe, it had just snowed 3 ft and i spent the one run i made dog-paddling out of drifts.

this time, i made one run and then sue broke her leg....

right after she told us that her new year's resolution was to have a more optimistic disposition since she always felt like bad things happened to her. sorry, sue.

in memory of conan

2010-01-31T21:34:00.000-08:00

ok, he's not dead, but i miss him already.

jan 19 will always be a personal holiday: "conan o'brien's last-tonight-show-eve-eve." i consider myself divinely lucky to have been able to go.

sandy, tommy, me, and jade rockin our tees.

and, in the audience, we got a double point from conan himself.

and p.s., wasn't his speech on his last show so gracious and heartfelt? i totally teared up.

team conan

2010-01-17T20:25:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite things to do relaxing while i'm back in the US is watching conan at a decent hour. so, needless to say, this whole nbc scuffle is, to me, disappointing to say the least. fortunately, my friend got us tickets to go see conan on perhaps one of his last shows, jan 20. and, being the t-shirt fiend i am, i had to make team conan support attire. after a few ideas, $20 at michael's, and plenty of paint fumes, here's the finished product (i made 5):

i can't wait to sport these. go team conan.

ps, if you want the template i used to get the coif, you can find them for free, here.

baby, it's cold outside

2010-01-02T09:43:00.000-08:00

after xmas in ny, new year's in st. louis, i'm in denver now, in disbelief that i've been out of thailand for 5 weeks already. and i'm also realizing that my body's too used to tropical climates. i've heard that so much has happened in our ministry in thailand in just these past weeks - a friend's father passed, a husband came to faith, the largest/unified evangelistic event thailand has ever witnessed happened over christmas.

well, things have been happening in the US, too - and here in quick blurb form (because i'm tired and really, really have to go to sleep).

new york: even aside from my sister and her family living in manhattan, i'm convinced there's no better place to spend christmas. as cliche as it sounds, it's totally magical - the snow, the holiday markets, the trees, the christmas chorales (i know adore episcopalians). bryant park (my favorite park in ny) sets up a ice rink and market. it's stunning to have such a quaint little park in the middle of beautifully designed old and new buildings.

new york's always fun for the arts and foooooood. here's pauline over dessert at the modern in the moma. this manjari chocolate palet with tahitian vanilla cremeux and orange cacao arabasque tuile (how's that for pretentious? i totally had to look up the modern's menu to get the name again. i was just calling it "a chocolate cake-ish, candy-bar-shaped thing with ice cream") was the best chocolate dessert i have ever had, by far. i've never had such balanced opulent, yet clean chocolate. i also have to give a plug for the fantastic dirler-cade pinot gris. beautifully done.

amelia, my first and only niece, at 1.5 is scarily good at using the iphone and computer(she actually knows what she's doing), to the chagrin of her parents. she actually sits in front of the computer for hours on end watching videos of herself, browsing pictures of herself and blasting itunes. is it sad that i've been surpassed by a baby?

this year, i went to the urbana missions conference in st.louis for the first time and had a chance to do a little teaching, meet students, and dink around with other field staff. it's surprisingly energizing and inspiring to be around passionate and motivated college students. and, i felt totally challenged to step-up my prayer life. god's big! oh, and how many chances do you get to ring in the new year with 17,000 people? (a: once every three years)

and now? goals for denver: take casa bonita by storm, grill some steaks, take a silent retreat, tour some breweries, meet with sp senior staff and spend time a ton of time with my brother and friends until we puke. gag reflex don't fail me now!

chinese goodies

2009-12-21T16:13:00.000-08:00

captain's log. stardate 11.2009. (i just watched the new star trek movie)

i, after 28 earth years, have just for the first time visited china, the home of my heritage.

starting at hong kong and moving our way up to beijing, dad and i traveled through family and chinese history. what did i learn?

if i didn't travel china with my dad, i would not have liked chinese people. chinese people in public are puuuuushy. my dad has this way of humanizing everyone that makes people instantly warm up to him.

i loved meeting relatives. my dad's younger sister stayed with my great-grandmother in china while the rest of the family moved to taiwan in '49. she's a loud, moon-shine-drinking, warm woman that surprisingly reminded me of older, village thai ladies.

my dad's uncle was 17 when he carried my dad as a one-year-old from the shanghai area to sichuan with my grandma to flee japanese invaders. did you know that in the nanjing massacre, the japanese killed 300,000 people in 6 weeks? after we visited the nanjing massacre museum, my dad asked me, "do you understand now why we fled?" i never knew.

pandas are so adorable. this one was scratching its butt and all i wanted to do was hug him. it's probably better that i didn't because he'd probably eat my face.

rural and agricultural china is beautiful. the best was taking bike rides from yangshuo and rafting back through mountains and rock formations. i love the mist.

and of course, favorite chinese eats: peking duck, kumquats, clay pot fish head, hong kong dim sum, yang rou jia mo (lamb kebab sandwiches) in xi'an, the shanghai poppable xiaolong dumplings, the impossibly difficult chinese pecans, guilin's pork belly with taro, beijing's ceramic jar yogurt drink.

and just for fun, here are my favorite dad quotes

dad:"do you have any sports pantyhose?" (i've never been so cold as at the great wall)

me: "what?"

dad: "you know; like what joe namath wears."

me: "so should we eat by 8am tomorrow?"

dad: "no. we should have been eaten by 8."

me: "hahahahahahahaha"