i vant to suck your betelnut!

remember halloween as a kid and how cool those faux blood capsules were?

imagine that almost every old, thai lady looks like she chews them constantly with a pair of those fake, mangled teeth. that's what the betelnut effect looks like. check out ba muy when we all squished in the back of a taxi together (she has even less teeth now):

i've been wanting to try chewing it for a while just to know what it tastes like. it seems like it's gotta be pretty good if so many people are willing to look so zombie-esque chewing it and it's supposedly hot in japan now. i figured it was my destiny to try some while i was upcountry with our house building project and a neighbor offered me some.

first off, it's a little bit of a process. you crack open the betelnut and start chewing it until it becomes like a paste. then, you spread some red stuff (i have no idea what it is) on a leaf and chew it all together. kinda like chewing tobacco, you have to spit out the juice.

turns out that betelnut tastes pretty sick. it made my tongue feel all tingly and tastes exactly like what i imagine "hot mess" to taste like, only imagine that hot mess was stored in the pocket of a homeless man, rolled around in bitterness, and then juiced. i literally scraped my tongue with my fingernails after.

here's me chewing it. believe me, this is hot in japan.